Tag Archives: Diversity

Advice, mentors & gut instinct

3 kinds coffee One of the initial reasons for starting this blog was to share the advice that I received during my various coffee meetings on the road to becoming a non-exec director. Having moved to Singapore only in the last six months, I am still very much in the mode of learning about the way things work here, who’s who, who’s doing what work and how to go about things.

Everyone I have had coffee with has been exceptionally friendly and giving (thank you again, if you are reading this). I suspect that in part, this comes from the fact that for many people, Singapore is not their original home, and they may remember what it was like to arrive here and start from scratch. Notably, there have also been a number of people who have been especially helpful with introductions and suggestions and very direct feedback. This is significant in a society where speaking directly is not always an acceptable way of communicating!

In the process of these coffee meetings, as the new person I am often effectively “pitching” myself and my skills as well as asking questions about whom to speak with, what to join and where I can try to be of value. In some cases, I have been honoured to be able to also provide advice to others who are at different stages of their careers. A recent range of responses to a particular question I posed made me reflect on both my reaction to the answers I was given and the way in which I ask questions and provide advice.

Often the discussion I have with my coffee partner develops organically and there isn’t necessarily a defined set of questions. But recently, I put the same direct question to three different coffee partners – all of whom have lived here for more than a decade. The answers I received were “yes, definitely”, “no, don’t bother” and “probably, there’s no harm”. Now it’s fair to say I am not seeking medical advice from specialists, so there are no life and death consequences from having such conflicting advice. But it does make it a little bit more difficult to work out what line of action to take when one has such a range of responses.

As I reflected on this divergence of opinions, I realised that each person was giving me their view, no doubt, informed by their own past experiences and current context. The trick for me was to try not to take their response at face value, but to colour it with my knowledge of their experience and context to find its applicability to me.

This led me to the notion of ‘gut instinct’. Prior to asking the particular question, I had my own view, also informed by my past experience and current circumstances. The point of seeking others’ advice was to learn what I didn’t know about my new environment to better inform my own view. The reality is that each person has a unique combination of experience, history and context. The key was to listen to the advice, try to ascertain what influenced or gave rise to that advice and then disseminate it with my own circumstances. This is where the process of rationalisation should result in you establishing what will work best for you; what makes sense in your situation. This will generally lead you to a view that fits with your ‘gut instinct’, your intuition about yourself.

Given the conflicting advice, depending on which action I take, it will go against the advice provided by at least one of my coffee partners. The key to realise is that it doesn’t mean that everything they suggested is not applicable, nor that their advice was any less helpful. In fact, having someone suggest something that goes counter to your own leanings is incredibly useful to force you to think about why you may have wanted to take a particular action. It is the same as the different perspective that comes from having a diverse team at board or executive level that helps ensure that groupthink doesn’t result in taking a course of action because everyone thinks the same way.

Similarly, those who impart advice or who have the privilege to mentor others, need to remember that such advice needs to be provided with context and experience. Mentors often will ask questions rather than offer direct advice, and those questions also need to be posed in a way that makes the other person assess their own circumstances with an insight into others’ experiences and the applicability or not of those experiences to their own position. This, in turn, should allow the mentee the ability to consider different actions and their implications and what ultimately may work for them, based on their own understanding of themselves, their gut instinct.

Coffee count: 424

The balancing act

Leave a reply

One of the things I have learnt over the years is that you never know who you are going to learn something from and when. I have had the pleasure in the last few weeks of meeting with two formidable young professional women in a mentoring capacity. I found our conversations enlightening and informative.

By co-incidence, both women are recently married, both to successful young men who are doing well in their chosen areas. I was shocked to hear from both, quite separately, of the number of people who were asking them, when they were going to have children. Not just friends, but work associates as well. In today’s modern world, where people often enter into major events such as mortgages and parenthood without feeling the need to get married, why should marriage imply that parenthood swiftly follows?

Even more indignantly, why do people feel that they have the right to ask such personal questions? A million years ago, when I was asked the same question by my parents (only after I had been married a few years I might add), I made it clear it was none of their business. How much more so when the people asking the question are friends or work colleagues or supervisors? I did take a moment to wonder whether, in this world where Facebook and Instagram provide us with so many “friends” as well as a forum to share so much of our lives, these two things are colliding in a way that allow people to feel they can ask such personal questions.

But I digress. What was concerning to me was the questions both these women asked of me in relation to balancing work and parenthood. We are decades on from the start of women’s lib movement and pushing equality in the workplace. We’ve had a female Prime Minister (albeit one who wasn’t married and didn’t have children), a female Governor-General (who managed both) and currently have two female State Governors, a Territorial Administrator and a female Foreign Minister. We have a raft of successful female businesswomen, lawyers, doctors, directors, politicians and so on. Almost twenty years ago when I was considering having children, it didn’t occur to me that I wasn’t going to be able to continue to pursue my career. In fact, once I had the complicating factor of a second child I chose to leave the stability of tax law and pursue an entrepreneurial career.

I couldn’t have done it without the support of my husband and the fabulous assistance of a live-in nanny (which for the record was cheaper than any other form of paid-for childcare)*. In fact, part of my advice to both these women was that in any relationship there has to be an understanding and acknowledgement of both careers and the fact that there will be times when one career needs more effort and work and the other person may need to keep their career in a holding pattern as support. Trying to push two careers at the same time can be truly difficult – the added complication of children can make it even more complex. Another aspect of advice was not to try to be all things to all people all the time.

The demands of work in this era of 24/7 make the desire to balance all of these things even more acute. Shortly after the second of these meetings, it was announced that Cameron Clyne, CEO of National Australia Bank, was going to step down due to the demands of his job taking him away from his family too much. There is no doubt that being the CEO of one of the top 20 banks in the world and the top four in Australia must be a demanding role. But what hope do young women have to aspire to the top, to “lean in” as Sheryl Sandberg would have them do, if one of the blokes can’t do it either?

Just to make it harder, CEOs are continually encouraged to set an example for their staff in having work-life balance and benchmarked against their peers. They need to be seen attending school functions (by their kids as well as the broader market) as well as fronting the media and analysts when required. How do we balance the wonders of 21^st century technology when information is, and always expected to be, at our fingertips all the time, yet we need time to still be face to face with the people who matter to us (meaning our partners, children and parents, not analysts and shareholder activists)!

When one reflects on all of this, it’s probably not all that surprising that so many talented women have chosen not to engage in the battle and rather cede the opportunities to others who aren’t as worried about ensuring they understand playground dynamics at the same time as commodity price dynamics.

There are so many different things at play: biological disposition; technological advances and society’s behaviour as a result; the competing demands of investors and analysts; personal family circumstances; physical and intellectual attributes. There is also no right answer. Equally there is no wrong answer. Awareness, understanding, consideration and support are what are called for. What and when each person decides to do with their personal and professional lives is their own business. Our role as a society is to enable each person to fulfil their own hopes and dreams without making it harder.

Coffee count: 275 coffees

* Watch out for a future post on the arguments for greater support for childcare rather than paid parental leave.

Headhunters – respondents, facilitators or change agents?

Leave a reply

A couple of weeks ago the Australian Financial Review had an article that included an expressed frustration by shareholders of the approach major executive recruitment firms (I’m going to call them “headhunters” for readers’ ease) take to recruiting non-executive directors for boards. The claim was made that headhunters like to play it safe and thus boards end up with the same names put forward, it not being in the headhunters’ interests to try to place someone on an ASX board that has not been on one before.

I have previously discussed in elsewhere in this blog the catch-22 that exists for aspiring non-executive directors in relation to prior experience. It was somehow heartening to read of the same in the pages of the newspaper.

In a best case scenario, a board seeking a new director (whether an ASX100 company or not) would have done a skills matrix of its existing directors, considered their tenures to date and future plans and accordingly, developed a brief for a headhunter to fulfil its succession planning requirements. The existing directors are likely to also apply their minds as to whom they know who might fulfil the requirements. Both groups will cast around amongst the people they know.

Director appointments are going to come either through a headhunter or one’s network. In the case of larger companies, it’s just as likely to be a combination of both, with one’s name needing to be on both lists. So aspirants have to keep meeting with headhunters as well as networking.

Of my 223 coffees to date, 19 of them have been with headhunters and there would be another few to whom I’ve been introduced but who haven’t met with me. They range from the blue-chip international firms to the sole operators. All have been polite and friendly. Only two have met with me a second time (across a two year period). Walking away from most, I’ve had the feeling that I wasn’t going to be on any of their lists any time soon.

I understand that from the headhunters’ perspective, they have a brief from the board or nominations committee and they need to fill it. I also appreciate that they need to earn a living and they do that by providing a service that their clients want. This is most easily achieved by putting forward a round peg for the proffered round hole. However, I’m going to go out on a limb (perhaps not for the first time) and challenge headhunters to consider encouraging their clients to look at whether in fact a not-round peg might also fit in that round hole. After all, Henry Ford’s potential customers thought they wanted faster horses but he gave them a car and Steve Jobs probably wouldn’t have developed the iPad if he had listened to those people saying they wanted a netbook to replace the laptop.

The need for diversity on boards is not just about reworking the gender balance. It’s about bringing fresh ideas and new perspectives to the board table. It’s about bringing people with experience in other industries who have the skills to translate the knowledge learned elsewhere into insights in a complementary or similar industry. Headhunters have a potentially fantastic opportunity to meet a variety of new people and with the real understanding of their clients needs’, persuade their clients to not just recruit more people like themselves, but rather, take the plunge into the area of diversity in a meaningful way.

Surely in this fast changing world, where technology drives so much, where globalisation breaks down international borders more easily and where the younger generation consume so much more than previous generations (both in terms of tangible goods and intangible information), boards and chairmen need people around the table who understand these influences. Today’s experts in social media are unlikely to have had ASX100 board experience. But it doesn’t mean that they lack governance skills and the difference between setting strategy and implementing it. And even if the newest member of the board doesn’t have the same depth of governance experience, then that is why there is a skills matrix so that others cover it and directors can cross-pollinate their experiences.

My hope is that both the headhunters and the boards who speak of diversity open their thinking to looking for aspiring directors who can assimilate current business challenges and synthesise them with an understanding of experiences elsewhere. Such people will bring insight and value to board discussions and deliberations.

And perhaps rather than just responding to standard briefs, headhunters should see themselves as agents of change and help Australian corporate boards become the new model for diversity, good governance and foresight.

Coffee count: 223

2013 Review

2 Replies

As the year draws to a close, it’s been an eventful one for this blogger.

This time last year I was one of seemingly thousands of women and men looking for a non-executive directorship, trying to distinguish myself amongst many talented and experienced people.

I started this blog with a view to differentiating myself (as I exhort my consulting clients to do) and at the same time wanting to share the learnings I have gained during my many coffee meetings. I also hoped to be able to help other aspirants avoid at least some of the disappointments and frustrations I have experienced as they travel on their own journeys. I will continue to aim to do this and at the same time share my views of the various aspects of the “Diversity Issue” that arise from time to time.

The multiplier effect of social media resulted in my first non-executive director role and this has been a great learning experience. I’ve been thrown in the deep end in terms of the expectation to contribute to the board and have had to put governance theories into practice. I have also closely observed and experienced the boundaries between executive and non-executive roles.

Throughout the year, I maintained the pursuit of my 1000 coffees with people from whom I can learn something or who can introduce me to others. As a result of this and the support of a mentor and champion, I have just secured a NED role on the Foundation of a major NSW public institution. I am excited to be able to work with such a talented and passionate group of people, both within the Foundation and on its board. While they want the skills I can bring, the match-making process still came through networking and being recommended by others.

In the very same week I was contacted in relation to another potential NED role, this time in a privately owned, private equity invested company. While it’s not yet certain where this will go, it is an exciting way for the year to finish.

2013 has been a year where the “Diversity Issue” has had more headlines than ever before. There has been much more discussion and action about how to make change, as opposed to just the need for change. More women have been appointed to boards than in previous years and more women have moved up the executive ranks in more companies and organisations than ever before. I believe there is a greater awareness in Australia of the benefits of having women help run and direct businesses, whether they be public, private, government or non-profit. There is an acknowledgement of the need to do things differently than in the past, to help make that happen. It won’t occur overnight and there are still many hurdles and stumbling blocks to manage, but change is taking place and recognition should be accorded to those who have driven this change.

My thanks to the people who follow this blog and who have recommended it to others. Thanks also to those who have encouraged me to write it and to continue to develop it (you know who you are). Wishing you all “Season’s Greetings” and hoping you enjoy some downtime over the Australian summer. 1000 coffees will continue in 2014.

Coffee count: 217

Lean In and Lean On

1 Reply

One of the most talked about books in the area of Diversity in 2013 has been Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In. In it, she encourages women to “step up” and not fall back into the common and usual female traits of letting our actions speak for us, and waiting for others to be our promoters. In many ways, I wish someone had given me such a book when I was starting my career. It would have served me well to know it was OK to speak out or speak up. I have recommended it to many young women this year.

It should be said, however, that clearly there are women speaking up and “leaning in” or women wouldn’t have made the advances that they have to date. The trailblazers did lean in and showed that it can be done. At the same time, as Elizabeth Broderick is showing with her Male Champions of Change, it can’t all be done by women either. Men need to help change the status quo and encourage and allow women to lean in.

While on the whole I do endorse Sheryl Sandberg’s exhortations and encouragement, there is one aspect of her own experiences that facilitated her career yet is not necessarily available for all women. For those who choose to have children, managing a career and raising a family is a challenge. This is true for men and women, but I’d venture to say it’s tougher for women. It is difficult to move full-steam ahead on all fronts at the same time. Some, like Sandberg, are lucky enough to have spouses or partners who can manage their jobs or careers to allow the mother to work – whether it is a combination of sharing the load or staying at home. Other women can outsource to family or paid help – whether childcare centres or nannies. Each should feel they can do what is right for them and not feel judged or criticised by others who may have made different choices.

But inevitably, children do grow up into young people and parents can’t outsource the necessity of instilling their own values into their children and guiding and supporting them. Children are not commodities – just to have and then move on – they require parental input and to that extent managing two big careers and bringing up children is a tremendous challenge.

To do so, inevitably one has to lean on others. Be it wider family members, one of the parents in a relationship taking a greater support role or a circle of friends (or all of the above). Women very often think they have to do it themselves and be tough and manage it all. Women juggle multiple roles and fill up all available hours doing all the things that need to be done in order to keep moving forward and keep all the balls in the air. Recent experiences of family issues and personal health have reminded me that there is a circle of friends that I can lean on, just as many of them have leant on me from time to time. Without the ability to lean on, it can be tough to lean in.

This blog entry is dedicated to the circle of women, friends and mentors, whom I have been able to lean on. Thank you for being a support.

Coffee count: 212

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: