Tag Archives: Male Champions of Change

When life gets in the way

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Almost seven months since the last entry. My apologies to anyone who follows this blog and expected regular entries! The title of this post gives some explanation for my absence. The past few months have been challenging for many reasons including time allocation, and unfortunately, keeping up the blog has been one of the things to lapse, along with time for social coffees!

My role as chairman of the board has continued apace, with plenty of change management issues arising both around the board table and within the business. It really has been a lesson in the effectiveness of a collaborative approach. While each new issue arose through a phone call or email to me, it has been satisfying that the resolution has always been arrived at through working with others around the table, sharing ideas and having the opportunity to offer alternative ideas. Influence and persuasion are key skills, but one can’t use persuasion without reason, listening to and acknowledging others’ concerns and, where possible, finding ways to accommodate other points of view.

The not-for-profit board role that I continue to have a passion for, have also continued with their usual ebbs and flows – nothing for a period and then a surge. Similarly, my corporate consulting practice has had its moments of intensity. At the same time, I have started to seek to establish networks for my Asian sojourn. The Asialink Leaders Program has provided insights, knowledge and perspectives that have challenged my own perceptions. This was why I undertook the course, so the learnings are welcome as are the opportunities to meet other people engaged in building working relationships with people and organisations throughout Asia.

I have also visited Singapore a few times and begun the “coffee networking” process there. People have been welcoming and positive and I am grateful to those who have willingly introduced me to others. The ‘six degrees of separation’ adage has proved to be even closer at times, and there will many connections to be made. How many will eventually lead to the growth in my non-executive director portfolio is yet to be seen, but I will persist.

While all this continues, the realities of domestic life have had to be dealt with. Three children (one living away from home at university, one in her final year at school with a load of extra-curricular activities as well, and one dealing with the prospect of moving schools and countries at the end of the year) require time and focus. At the other end of the age spectrum are parents with significant health issues: hospitals, specialists, care at home – all to be dealt with. Not to mention the process of planning an international move, selling the family home and so on.

It has been a juggling process and I am grateful to not have had a full-time role but rather the flexibility to be able to manage – provided I don’t count on much sleep! However, I have found an appreciation for the sentiments expressed in Anne-Marie Slaughter’s new book “Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family”. You may recall that she was a director in the US State Department who left her job to spend more time with her two teenage sons. In her new book, she notes “we often cannot control the fate or our career and family”. She goes on to say that the one of the reasons women struggle in the workplace is a systematic imbalance in the esteem granted to “two complementary human drives: competition, the impulse to purse our self-interest in a world in which others are pursuing theirs, and care, the impulse to put other first.” There will always be times that the drive to care will override the drive to compete – but companies must be able to develop policies that accommodate this. There does seem to be a start in Australian business, particularly encouraged by the Male Champions of Change process, but there’s a long way to go.

Nevertheless, the 1000 coffees process has continued and I am back on track – focusing on the changes that lie ahead as well as reflecting on the lessons learned from the roles that now approach their conclusion. Hopefully I will be able to share some of the outputs.

Coffee count: 385

Lean In and Lean On

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images-13One of the most talked about books in the area of Diversity in 2013 has been Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In.  In it, she encourages women to “step up” and not fall back into the common and usual female traits of letting our actions speak for us, and waiting for others to be our promoters.  In many ways, I wish someone had given me such a book when I was starting my career.  It would have served me well to know it was OK to speak out or speak up.  I have recommended it to many young women this year.

It should be said, however, that clearly there are women speaking up and “leaning in” or women wouldn’t have made the advances that they have to date.  The trailblazers did lean in and showed that it can be done.  At the same time, as Elizabeth Broderick is showing with her Male Champions of Change, it can’t all be done by women either.  Men need to help change the status quo and encourage and allow women to lean in.

While on the whole I do endorse Sheryl Sandberg’s exhortations and encouragement, there is one aspect of her own experiences that facilitated her career yet is not necessarily available for all women. For those who choose to have children, managing a career and raising a family is a challenge.  This is true for men and women, but I’d venture to say it’s tougher for women.  It is difficult to move full-steam ahead on all fronts at the same time.  Some, like Sandberg, are lucky enough to have spouses or partners who can manage their jobs or careers to allow the mother to work – whether it is a combination of sharing the load or staying at home.  Other women can outsource to family or paid help – whether childcare centres or nannies.  Each should feel they can do what is right for them and not feel judged or criticised by others who may have made different choices.

But inevitably, children do grow up into young people and parents can’t outsource the necessity of instilling their own values into their children and guiding and supporting them.  Children are not commodities – just to have and then move on – they require parental input and to that extent managing two big careers and bringing up children is a tremendous challenge.

To do so, inevitably one has to lean on others. Be it wider family members, one of the parents in a relationship taking a greater support role or a circle of friends (or all of the above).  Women very often think they have to do it themselves and be tough and manage it all.  Women juggle multiple roles and fill up all available hours doing all the things that need to be done in order to keep moving forward and keep all the balls in the air.  Recent experiences of family issues and personal health have reminded me that there is a circle of friends that I can lean on, just as many of them have leant on me from time to time.  Without the ability to lean on, it can be tough to lean in.

This blog entry is dedicated to the circle of women, friends and mentors, whom I have been able to lean on.  Thank you for being a support.

Coffee count: 212